Dechen
The horse cautiously chose its steps and plodded along, head low. A good horse is like that, she can sense her rider’s mood. Dechen understood this but she wasn’t looking to her horse to change her mood. As much as she loved the horse, she knew it couldn’t help her.
She could hear the two of them snickering behind her. Sonam was doing his best to tease her about Wangdu; a brother is a troublesome creature because he knows you so well! Tenzin, meanwhile, grew increasingly upset whenever Sonam mentioned Wangdu and stopped responding to Sonam’s jokes. Had Sonam not stopped when he did, Tenzin might have lashed him with his whip.
Dechen remained calm. Eventually Sonam tired and Tenzin regained his composure, and with it, a little courage. He urged his horse forward until he was beside Dechen. He smiled and did his best to flirt.
Will this journey ever end? Dechen found herself repeating this so often she realized she’d turned it into a mantra. How strangely the mind works under stress! Root reactions take over so strongly that all loftier intentions vanish. Loftier intentions. Yes, what are they? Concentrate now…attend…
Stone-faced, she endured his flattery in silence. She was not going to encourage him; she felt no sympathy for his predicament. Tenzin finally gave up and dropped back to ride with Sonam again. Dechen was relieved.
Just then Dechen’s father, Thampa, slowed his horse. He kept pace next to her and smiled kindly. Dechen prepared herself for what would be coming; one of those rare, father-daughter conversations.
“Dechen,” Thampa began; it was hard to tell if his affectionate manner was genuine. “This talent of yours. You know, your ability to tell the Gesar story.”
“Being a drungma, you mean?” Dechen wasn’t doing a good job of returning his affection. There was too much history on this issue between them; he had belittled her ability or scolded her too often.
“Yes, my dear. You have impressed everyone, including Tsondup. I am ashamed that I have been harsh with you about this.”
“Thank you, Father.” Dechen let sarcasm slip into her response and Thampa realized his attempt to repair their relationship was probably too late.
“What I mean, Dechen, is that I want you to continue practicing with Loyang and the Lady Gyasa. They should come to our village. I don’t want you going away. They must come to our village. Once you are ready you will be able to take this ache lhamo to Lithang and other places.”
“Thank you, Father,” Dechen’s response was still guarded but more interested. “That’s just as Palden Rinpoche wishes.”
“That may be so, but I think it is clear, from what he said, that he will not be involved in your training.”
“He won’t be. Is that as you wish?”
“Yes.”
They rode together in silence for awhile, father and daughter. Unspoken between them loomed the presence of Wangdu, the newest member of the ache lhamo group and the source of Thampa’s earlier frustration and anger.
“You must be relieved that Wangdu won’t be coming with them.” It was Dechen who spoke his name.
“Yes, I am.” Thampa’s face darken at the mention of Wangdu.
Thampa struggled to maintain control of his feelings and sighed. What happened, he thought to himself, to the little girl who once adored me so much; who called me ‘abba-la’ so lovingly? How did we grow so far apart?
“I have the impression you are waiting for me to say something about him.”
“No. I know already what you’ll say – about Wangdu.”
“Perhaps you do. But that’s not what I want to talk about.”
“That’s good. I don’t want you to talk about Wangdu either,” she made a point of repeating his name to annoy him. “Not ever.”
“Ok. I won’t.” Thampa frowned and looked at her impatiently. “You’re the one talking about him.”
“Well, yes. I want you to understand something once and for all,” Dechen was suddenly vehement. “It’s not what you think. There is nothing between me and Wangdu. There never will be.”
“Very good, then.” Thampa didn’t know exactly what to make of this declaration but wanted to accept it as fact. “That’s a great relief. I’m glad I won’t have a fight with you about him.”
Dechen rewarded him with the smallest flash of a smile.
“That’s my girl!” Thampa grinned warmly.
Dechen waited impatiently for him to say what he’d started to talk about before she made her point about Wangdu. She noticed her horse was stepping a little more lightly now.
“As you know Sonam will be going to China for a while.” Thampa began; he was speaking now in his village headman voice. “I think you are old enough to understand my responsibilities – of running our village. Now that Sonam is leaving, you’ll have to do more – in the village, I mean.”
Dechen was surprised but not enthusiastic. She knew her mother played a big part in the affairs of the village; she was involved in ways her father never could be. She knew all the women and through them managed the outcome of more decisions affecting the village than Thampa ever realized.
“Chuang Wai Ming, our Chinese guest, has some good suggestions about managing our land, our animals and our village life. I think we should put his ideas to the test. If they work for our village, other villages might like to try them too.”
“What’s wrong with our way of life?” Dechen was offended that Chuang found their village inadequate.
“You must admit improvements can be made. You’d understand if you could see what’s happening in China. The rest of the world is changing, too. Our village can benefit from modern things.”
“How!” Dechen made it sound like it wasn’t a question.
“Better farming methods, modern tools and goods to make life easier. Better food and clothing and shoes made in factories. Better…”
“Maybe,” Dechen conceded reluctantly, cutting him off. “But Lady Gyasa has lived out there. She’s been to India and Europe and America. She says the modern way of life is about having more, but that doesn’t make life better. She came back here because our way of life is good. What if she is right?”
“I don’t care what she thinks! We have an opportunity to improve our life here if we listen to Chuang’s advise. We should make use of his offer – whether it is training for Sonam or restructuring our village into a cooperative.”
“Cooperative?”
“Yes!” Thampa said emphatically. He seemed embarrassed when Dechen waited for him to explain what he meant by ‘cooperative’. “Ask Chuang or Tenzin. They can explain it better.”
Dechen was shocked. “You want to turn the village into a cooperative but you can’t tell me what that is?”
“Well, yes,” Thampa admitted. “I know I don’t understand these things so well. Sonam helped me. Now that he’ll be away I’ll need your help.”
“Me? You want me to figure out what they’re talking about and explain things to you? Really?”
“Yes. That’s what I’d hope.”
“And you’ll listen to me?”
“Yes, of course.”
“What if you don’t want to hear what I have to say? What if I object to these plans?”
“That did cross my mind. But at least I’ll get honesty from you. You are the only one capable of speaking your mind to me and getting away with it! Even Sonam only says ‘Yes, Sir’ to me. I have never known you to do that!”
This brought chuckles to both of them.
“You’re bright, people love you, and you are a good judge of character. I need to know if this is good for us to try or if it is completely wrong. I know I can count on you to help me understand things better.”
Dechen sensed a hint of desperation in his voice but understood that he did respect her opinion and would listen to her advice.
Thampa sighed. He knew he’d have little control over her tongue. But at least she was a good-hearted girl. There was nothing mean-spirited about her. For that he was grateful; quietly grateful to Dumo, his wife who had raised her well. He looked forward to having her around again. She’d been away for several weeks with the Lady Gyasa and ‘that old lama’, as he thought of him. He realized he’d missed her.
“I’ve invited Chuang and Tenzin to stay in our village while they help us set up the cooperative.”
“I don’t want Tenzin hanging around the village.” Dechen shouted. She was suddenly furious. She didn’t care that Tenzin might hear her.
“Don’t be rude!” Thampa motioned Dechen to quiet her voice and continued in a soothing voice, “Tenzin is a good young man. Don’t turn against him so quickly. Poor lad, he’s completely in love with you. He’s trying so hard to win your attention but you act as if he doesn’t exist.”
“I’m not interested and never will be!”
“Don’t be like that!”
“Like what? I’m trying to tell you how it is. I’ll be very honest with you, okay? Just like you asked me to be!” Dechen turned to look him straight in his face. “You want me to marry Tenzin because his family is rich and well connected. It would boost your position is society. That may be common practice to marry for wealth and position, but I won’t have it. I will never marry someone I could not be happy with.”
Thampa’s gentle, fatherly manner was blown to bits. “Listen to me, daughter! That wild one is not good for you! He’ll never give you the life you deserve.”
“Who? Wangdu?” Dechen shouted back. “You think I won’t marry Tenzin because of Wangdu? No! I’ve already told you. I will not marry Wangdu. Why won’t I marry Tenzin? Not because of Wangdu but because of Tenzin!”
She gave her father a defiant, fearless glare and kicking the flanks of her horse. Catching her rider’s mood, the horse galloped up the trail. The valley was wide and they easily passed Dechen’s mother, Tsondup and Chuang at the head of the caravan.
Dechen didn’t stop her horse until they rounded a hill that was sure to hide them from the others. Slowing to a walk, she urged her horse to leave the trail and cross a meadow sloping gently toward the river. Dismounting, she led the horse down the steep river bank for a drink. As it drank, the horse suddenly raised her head as if looking back the way they had come. Two horses galloped by on the trail. The horse looked at Dechen and began to drink again. They were well out of sight from anyone on the trail.
Dechen sat among the rocks by the river pleased to know that Sonam and Tenzin were looking for her. She patted the horse in gratitude. There was understanding between them.
She waited. Several caravans passed. Still she waited and passed the time gazing into the flowing water, listening to the world around her, to her breath and to her heart. Then, when she thought enough time had passed for the trail to be empty, she raised her head above the river bank.
Striding directly toward her was someone familiar but whom she least expected to see.
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NOTE: If this is your first encounter with Windhorse Rising, please start with Prelude and read Chapters 1 thru 14 in sequence.
